Ever find yourself on the brink of achieving something great, only to mess it up at the last minute? Maybe you procrastinate, avoid key tasks, or tell yourself you’re not ready—only to watch opportunities slip away. That, my friend, is you self-sabotaging your success in action.
Self-sabotage is that frustrating habit of getting in your own way, often just as things are starting to go well. It’s like there’s a part of you that’s afraid of success, so it creates barriers—whether consciously or subconsciously—to stop you from reaching your full potential. The worst part? It’s usually done under the radar, so you might not even realise you’re doing it until you’re stuck in the same old pattern, wondering why things never work out.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle of self-sabotage. With a little insight and some intentional effort, you can learn to overcome those self-imposed roadblocks and step into the success you deserve.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage happens when you undermine your own goals, dreams, and progress. It’s like having one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. You might say you want to succeed, but something inside holds you back. This could show up as procrastination, negative self-talk, perfectionism, or even destructive behaviours like overworking or avoiding responsibility.
Some common signs of self-sabotage include:
- Procrastination: Waiting until the last minute to tackle important tasks, setting yourself up for failure.
- Negative self-talk: Telling yourself you’re not good enough or don’t deserve success.
- Avoiding challenges: Steering clear of opportunities that could help you grow because you’re afraid of failure.
- Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities, even when you’ve proven yourself.
- Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards, then beating yourself up when you can’t meet them.
- Fear of change: Resisting new opportunities because they take you out of your comfort zone.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. Almost everyone has sabotaged themselves at some point. The key is recognising when it’s happening and learning how to change those behaviours.
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
You might be wondering, “Why on earth would I get in the way of my own success?” The answer often lies in deep-rooted fears and beliefs that you may not even be fully aware of. Here are some common reasons people self-sabotage:
1. Fear of Failure
Failure can feel like the ultimate confirmation of your worst fears about yourself—that you’re not capable, that you’ll never succeed. So, instead of risking failure, you avoid trying altogether. But in reality, this fear keeps you from growing and learning.
2. Fear of Success
As strange as it sounds, success can be just as scary as failure. When you succeed, expectations rise—both from yourself and from others. You might worry that you won’t be able to maintain your success or that success will change your relationships or your life in ways you’re not ready for.
3. Low Self-Worth
If you don’t believe you deserve success, you’ll subconsciously act in ways that keep it out of reach. Maybe you’ve been told you’re not good enough, or maybe you’ve internalised negative beliefs about your abilities. Either way, these beliefs can create invisible barriers to your success.
4. Comfort in Familiarity
Even when a situation isn’t ideal, it’s often easier to stay in your comfort zone than to embrace the unknown. You might sabotage your efforts to move forward because the idea of change feels too uncomfortable.
How to Stop Self-Sabotaging
If you’re ready to break the cycle of self-sabotage and start living up to your full potential, the first step is awareness. Once you recognise the ways you’re holding yourself back, you can start taking intentional action to overcome those patterns. Here are a few strategies to help you get started:
1. Identify Your Triggers
What are the situations or feelings that tend to trigger self-sabotaging behaviour? Maybe it’s a looming deadline, a new job opportunity, or feedback from a boss. Understanding your triggers can help you anticipate when self-sabotage might rear its head and prepare for it.
2. Challenge Your Inner Critic
Your inner critic might be loud, but it’s not always right. When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll fail anyway,” pause and challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself: What evidence do I have that this is true? Often, you’ll find that your inner critic is exaggerating or basing its conclusions on past fears, not present reality.
3. Set Realistic Goals
Perfectionism often goes hand in hand with self-sabotage. You set sky-high expectations for yourself, and when you inevitably fall short, you use it as proof that you’re not good enough. To counter this, set small, achievable goals. Celebrate your progress, and remember that success is built on consistent effort, not perfection.
4. Get Comfortable with Discomfort
Success often requires stepping outside your comfort zone. Instead of avoiding discomfort, try leaning into it. Recognise that feeling uncomfortable or uncertain is a normal part of growth. The more you practice facing discomfort head-on, the easier it becomes to navigate it.
5. Seek Support
Overcoming self-sabotage can be tough to do alone, especially if it’s tied to deeper issues like low self-worth or fear of success. Working with a counsellor can help you uncover the root causes of your self-sabotage and develop strategies to overcome it. Sometimes, it’s about having a safe space to explore your fears and reframe the limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
Why Counselling Can Help
Breaking free from self-sabotage requires more than just willpower. It often involves unpacking years of self-limiting beliefs and fear-based patterns. That’s where counselling comes in. Through a supportive, non-judgmental process, you can explore the underlying reasons you might be sabotaging yourself and learn practical tools to shift those behaviours.
At Embodied Harmony, I offer a holistic approach to counselling, helping you not only address the mental and emotional blocks but also reconnect with your inner strengths and desires. We’ll work together to identify the root of your self-sabotage and create actionable steps to help you move forward, so you can achieve the success you truly deserve.
Ready to Overcome Self-Sabotage?
If self-sabotage has been holding you back from reaching your potential, it’s time to take action. At Embodied Harmony, I’m here to help you identify the barriers in your path and guide you toward a future where you can thrive. Let’s work together to break free from self-sabotage and build the confidence and clarity you need to succeed. Book your free15-minute consultation to explore how counselling can support your personal journey toward breaking the cycle of self-sabotage today.